Alcoholism's Antidote: Self-Discovery, Insights from an Alcohol Survivor 24 Years Free! Chapter Two: Surviving Withdrawal
CHAPTER II
SURVIVING WITHDRAWAL
Detoxification––Riding Out The Storm
How long detoxification will take and how difficult it will be for you will be determined by how much and how long you have been drinking. The longer you can hold out against the temptation to have a hangover-reducing drink, the sooner you will be free from the physical effects of withdrawal forever. This is where you need to rely on the parts of you that want to quit. Remember, even this too shall pass.
You may have to be bed ridden for a few days of puking and nausea and fasting. You may get the shakes so bad you can’t hold a glass of water, even if you could keep its contents down. I experienced a whole day when I couldn’t even keep the moisture from a melting ice cube in my stomach. It was days before I could keep solid food down. Hopefully, you haven’t poisoned your liver and blood as much as I did, and your detoxification process will be much easier than that. When things get tough remember that others have undergone this trial of withdrawal and have made it through.
If you have been used to such a high blood-alcohol level that lacking it you begin having hallucinations, or if the frequency of your puking hasn’t diminished after a couple of days, by any and all means get to the emergency room and tell them what you are trying to accomplish.
If your experience is closer to mine, you can expect symptoms that will remind you––again depending on your level of dependency––of the worst case of flu or food poisoning you have ever experienced. After a week you can expect the headaches, nausea and vertigo to have diminished substantially. I want to be very clear here, I am not claiming medical expertise. I am sharing my experience.
“From Deep Down Inside of Me Comes the Desire
and Determination Not to Drink Today.”
As you experience your withdrawal from alcohol try saying, “From deep down inside of me comes the desire and determination not to drink today.” How does that feel? Try it again. “From deep down inside of me comes the desire and determination not to drink today.” Does it ring true for you? Can you feel that it is genuine for you? If not, from what source does your motivation come? I repeat, If it is from outside of you––if, for example, you want to quit to get someone else off of your back––your chances of success are fatally diminished.
Write it down. “From deep down inside of me comes the desire and determination not to drink today.” See it in your own handwriting. I used to write it every day as I signed off my journal entry.
I repeated, “From deep down inside of me comes the desire and determination not to drink today,” all day, every day, for months when I first quit. Knowing that I had this energy working within me reinforced my resolve. This little phrase can help you uncover your inner strength too. It can help you through your roughest spots, just as it helped me. It also has the power to fortify you against slipping back into a bottle in the future.
Although I haven’t had the need to call on this affirmation for resisting alcohol for more than twenty years now, today I do repeat variations of it to help me accomplish whatever I set out to do.
A Word About Positive Affirmations
It is appropriate here to say a word about positive affirmations. Normally, I am in agreement with those who say we should keep negatives, like the words no, or not, out of our affirmations. I’ve even written as much in Have What You Will. Start Here. Start Now! The argument is that our subconscious mind doesn’t hear the “no” or “not” and proceeds to set up circumstances that will lead to the opposite result of that for which we are asking; “From deep down inside of me comes the desire not to drink today,” becomes, “From deep down inside of me comes the desire to drink today.”
I can report that the results of my earnest efforts contradict that hypothesis. I came up with this seemingly, contradictory affirmation before I knew of the proper form for such things. I was so determined that somehow my subconscious knew exactly what I meant anyway. If you are sincere in your efforts I believe it can work for you too.
If you are more comfortable without any negatives, design a positive affirmation that states your general goal in short, simple terms and remind yourself of your aim often by repeating your mantram when you wake up, go to bed, and any time during the day you can fit it in. In time you will internalize it and you won’t have to repeat it consciously. It will repeat itself in your head like your favorite song.
After a while, just as tools are put away when a construction project has been completed, you will be able to leave this affirmation behind too, or reframe it to work on another self-improvement.
Simple Remedies for Physical and Psychological Withdrawal
The Shakes
These are sometimes called the D.T.'s (for delirium tremens) when accompanied by hallucinations, and more commonly, confusion and disordered speech. As mentioned above, until your body adjusts to living without alcohol, you may experience anything from a little quivering in the stomach to hands shaking so badly you can’t brush your teeth without risking poking your eye out. You may experience anything from a lack of appetite to food being rejected from your stomach before it even has a chance to settle. If yours is an extreme case, even water will be unceremoniously ousted at the beginning of your recovery.
Constantly remind yourself to breathe slowly and deeply. Exhaling from deep behind your diaphragm is as important as inhaling deeply.
Be patient with your body. Give it some time to recover from your abuse of it. Your physical systems have had to make adjustments over time for the alcohol you’ve been forcing on them, and now they have to clean house (detoxify) before they can even begin to function as they were evolutionarily intended. For you this translates into the symptoms of withdrawal.
Remember the alcohol you were consuming was pumping a lot of sugar into your system, so not only is your alcohol consumption way down, so is your blood-sugar content. Your body needs time to find its balance. Physically, this is the most uncomfortable part of the process of detoxification and a good time to repeat, “From deep down inside of me comes the desire and determination not to drink today.”
Constantly remind yourself to breathe slowly and deeply. Exhaling from deep behind your diaphragm is as important as inhaling deeply. Yes, this is a deliberate repetition of the sentence above.
Drink as much pure water as your body desires. However, don’t bother drowning yourself with copious amounts of water in the attempt to flush the toxins from your body. Famous Dr. Bieler, of, Food is Your Best Medicine acclaim, says you may do yourself more harm than good by overtaxing your system with fluids you don’t need. You’ll empty your bladder a whole lot more, but the level of toxins in your body won’t be reduced any faster than had you not drunk so much.He points out that nature takes her time to heal our bodies. Be patient. It took time for you to accumulate your body’s toxic load. Expect that it will take time for your body to rid itself of the poison. Cooperate with its efforts by simply staying hydrated.
Constantly remind yourself to breathe slowly and deeply. Exhaling from deep behind your diaphragm is as important as inhaling deeply.
When you are feeling especially bad, immersion in water helps. When you are shaking and your body is crying for alcohol, and you are in some of the darkest places mentally, take a bath. Much healing can take place in your tub. If you have no tub, bring a chair or stool into the shower. Sit in the warm spray and imagine the things you don’t need anymore being washed away.
My knowledge of nutrition has increased a lot in the last twenty-four years. I had an atrocious diet back then, yet I still quit alcohol, so I am not going to give you advice about what to eat (that’s a whole other book too), except to offer a couple of suggestions. Your body does not need you to eat for it to detoxify, in fact, you could inhibit the process by eating too much too soon. Don’t worry about eating until your body tells you its hungry. Your body is likely to want to fast while it burns the toxins you’ve ingested in its detoxification process. You may not feel hungry for days. I recommend that you respect your body’s need not to be burdened with any extra work, like digesting a force-fed menu.
This may be a good time to share something else Dr. Bieler taught me; the phrase that nobody knows the proper saying of, regarding whether to feed a cold or fever. First the answer, feed neither one! Now the original saying by Hippocrates, “Starve a cold, or you will feed a fever.” That makes so much sense. While fighting off disease or malady the body does not need to be using precious resources and energy digesting food it doesn’t require.
When you feel a legitimate, healthy hunger start by offering your body a lightly cooked soup composed of fresh non-starch vegetables. Zucchini, Celery, Swiss Chard each have ingredients that will help your body process the poison. When your ravenous appetite returns you will do your body (and psychology) a favor by staying away from sugar and junk food. Sugar can actually turn into alcohol in your body, thus working at cross purposes to your goal of ridding yourself of it. According to Dr. Bieler, both sugar and starch cause fermentation in the stomach. The sugar and/or starch mixture undergoing fermentation in the stomach creates poisons (fusel alcohols and oils) normally left behind with the dregs in the brewing and distillation processes. These substances are even more toxic than the ethyl alcohol we drank.
You may find yourself facing physical as well as psychological challenges for a couple of weeks or more as your body rids itself of a lot of the toxins you have forced on it. Prepare for these challenges by making yourself as comfortable as you can. Constantly remind yourself to breathe slowly and deeply. Exhaling from deep behind your diaphragm is as important as inhaling deeply. Remember, your symptoms too shall pass.
If you are not experiencing major withdrawal symptoms, congratulations! Affirm, “From deep down inside of me comes the desire and determination not to drink today,” have some soup and take a bath.
Sleeplessness
If you find that you are having trouble sleeping through the night get out of your bed! Don’t waste your time lying there staring toward the ceiling in the dark, or watching middle-of-the-night television. You want to be able to associate your bed and bedroom with sleep and comfort, not anxiety, and tossing and turning.
Get up and read something you find uplifting. Bring it to the tub. Let the warmest water you find comfortable help relieve the tension in your muscles so you can begin to relax. Why be so uncomfortable in your bed, when a most delightful alternative is but a room or two away? Will you be in better shape to face tomorrow after a toss-and-turn or a warm soak and a good read? I believe if sleep is being lost it’s better to lose it to relaxation than frustration. When you cannot keep your eyes open anymore you can go back to bed.
When you are ready, use this precious middle-of-the-night time to figure out your personal riddle. Try remembering your early past and work on the other exercises in this book. Yogis are known to find meditating at three o’clock in the morning quite productive. This time put to good use will produce much precious fruit. You can watch TV and movies at other times to lift your spirits or give you a break, but the middle of the night is so perfect, so quiet, so conducive to deep thought, it is a shame to waste it, especially when you are wide awake anyway. Making productive use of the times when you cannot sleep takes no more energy than restlessly rocking in your bed, yet the returns are infinitely richer.
Aggression
If you are prone to express yourself physically be especially careful during this period. If you have aggressive energy get something non-living to take it out on. So that you are not tempted to hit other people or your pets, get a punching bag and use it. Routinely go to the driving range or batting cage, or pound the ground with your padded feet as you walk or jog with or without your dog.
Supplement your normal workout regime with some dramatic physical release. Dig a garden. Climb a mountain. Dance the night away––sober.
Did you ever wonder why you are filled with so much negative energy? What has gotten you so angry? Finding out more of who you really are will answer that question, and discovering more of who you really are will increase your opportunities to use that very same energy for creation instead of destruction.
Anger
Let your anger out. Be angry with your God if you have to be. Have it out with That which created you: curse your past, curse your present, curse the fact that you were even born. The Omnipotent can take it if a wee human has to blow off a thermonuclear blast of resentment, anger and frustration. Holding this garbage inside of you isn’t going to get you through it, and it is blocking your creative energy from expressing itself. With no one else involved, give vent to your frustrations about whomever or whatever you need to until your anger begins to change.
Write down your grievances, disappointments, regrets and apologies concerning your God, your parents, your siblings, your co-workers and anyone else who keeps coming to mind. Try addressing each issue in letter form. Since you don’t necessarily have to send them you can be absolutely honest with yourself in your letters. Writing your thoughts down will help you uncover your true feelings.
You will discover that at the heart of your anger is a part of you that has been hurt. Your anger has protected that hurt, but it hasn’t––and cannot––heal it. Recognize the hurt behind your anger and heal it with attention to its needs.
Your anger will begin to change because, as you freely flush out your feelings and express your suppressed energy, your perspective will alter. Automatically, your feelings will begin to transform. If you stay with it long enough, understanding eventually takes the place of anger. You may even end up pitying those with whom you were so furious and forgiveness may blossom in your heart.
Depression
Your desire to be free from alcohol dependency is evidence of the internal progress that you have already accomplished. Don’t stop now. Take a breath and see how far you have come. Remember, your body needs time to adjust to being alcohol-free and sometimes you will feel psychologically uncomfortable as your body chemistry seeks to balance its self. Expect it. Prepare for it. A major reason to eat healthfully is for the vitamins and minerals that come along with doing so. They will help heal your body; better psychological well-being follows.
What makes you laugh? Find movies, stand-up comedian routines, funny books, and any other things that will make you laugh out loud. This will pump some bodily-made, spirit-lifting chemicals into your bloodstream counteracting some of the sadness-inducing chemicals already flowing there. Exhaling and inhaling deeply will help here too.
Nothing reinforces depression more than immobility. Keep moving. Stretch. Walk. Start a light exercise program if you don’t already participate in one, or aren’t already walking daily.
In the process of doing this work you can expect to unveil some insights and make some connections that may have an emotional impact on you––you may even cry. Keep track of these “trigger” ideas, so-called because they trigger emotions, in your journal. Seek a trusted counselor if you are not making sense out of your discoveries, or if you need to discuss them, or if you just need a little encouragement.
Scattered Thinking
Part of the transition to living alcohol-free is slower brain functioning while your mind seeks to rebalance itself too. Your body and mind have been functioning with a certain blood-alcohol level, to which they have become dependent. When you take the alcohol away, your whole equilibrium––which your body worked so hard to keep in balance; incorporating your alcohol consumption––is thrown out of kilter.
Take your time with everything you do. Exercise patience, and with reasonable nutrition, your mind will soon be clearer than it ever was under alcohol’s influence.
That’s enough for this week. Next Friday watch for Chapter Three of
Alcoholism’s Antidote: Self-Discovery, Insights from an Alcohol Survivor Twenty-four Years Free!
“Maintaining Sobriety”